6 reasons homemade porn is a worse idea than you think

So you just watched Chyna muscular, heiny of pocky get fouled by a greasy little man and you are very confident that you can get drunk with a girl with five kids
People who might want to make movies too. That\'s awesome.
I \'ve thought about it too, but whenever I come up with this idea, it usually causes a strong antipathy.
Obviously, online comedy is not suitable for movies.
But the idea is good, right?
Thanks for a bunch of C-
Celebrity and low list
Budget sites, the idea of a family sex tape is now more reasonable than ever.
Who would reject an opportunity to hunchback in front of the camera? Not me. Not you. Not anyone.
But, let this be a warning for you: something doesn\'t belong to the camera.
For some reason you are not a porn star and the real porn makes us want to do amateur porn.
But look at amateur porn.
Look at the Scream for God\'s sake.
He\'s like a malnourished, bearded orangutan, who doesn\'t bring anything.
In real porn, actors and actresses are selected from the best broken families in the Midwest who have received top-notch plastic surgery and full body makeup.
Have you ever heard of bleaching?
That\'s what porn stars do.
A porn star is very focused on their work, and when there are some constructive criticisms of the set, like \"Hey Starla, I noticed that your anus looks a little dirty, maybe look into it?
\"They called later in the day to visit the ass Bleach salon and had a stranger apply some paint --
Reduce spackle to their crapper.
On the hole.
While their ass looks like a sparkling sanitary and happy puc made of the best alabaster and stank, mine looks like eating the Sarlacc of Boba Fett
It has no business on the camera and your chances will be just as bad.
You can always bend over in front of the mirror and try to measure your position, but you may need at least one other gift for comparison.
At the end of the day, you may upset yourself.
Other areas that you might want to reconsider showing on the camera include the underside of your bag, the front of the bag, and if you have a weird skin fold, any part of you is covered with hair and the back of your head.
Do you know that?
It\'s like a roll of meat dinner.
That\'s it. it\'s just delayed.
Sex is not real sex. The purpose of erotic sex is to shoot.
Like have you noticed that men often enter the most terrible uncomfortable posture?
This is to accommodate a man with sweaty\'s back with a sweat stream who is holding a big camera and wants to use fish for an unlicensed colonoscopy or other internal examination --eye lens.
So we get a variety of lenses and angles that make it so that the performer has to hunchback in the corner and engage in visually stunning but unsatisfying movements.
True story: Back to aught-
After watching some adult movies, I was inspired to try to get up and have sex.
Just like you pick up that woman directly and hold her there like a bag of humps potatoes.
What am I thinking?
I have been working in front of my computer all day and my whole body has shrunk to pudding.
Until today my back has not healed and there is a dent in my dry head wall.
Porn inspires you to do stupid sex.
Sex doesn\'t feel good, but we believe it\'s great because porn stars seem to like it a lot.
But you can give a porn star $20 and a sandwich and she will pretend to be orgasm on Weetabix.
It will be wild.
She would ask Weetabix to be a prostitute and let it hit her ass.
I wish I had some et mai. . .
You turn on the camera and you think you will capture unlimited passion, but in reality you may grab your little bag like a cat toy made in Bologna.
Your device is poor and some people like amateur porn movies because it is \"rough \";
It\'s like eating a cup of authentic Central American Water.
Porn must be of a certain quality in order to become good.
The real porn is on stage, or at least in the backyard of a guy with lights and sound equipment, and the camera may not be from Wal-Mart
Matt Electronics Department
Have you ever been to the public restroom when an overweight man rushed in?
Are you forced to sit at the next booth and sit quietly and listen while he is trying to be comfortable and avoid an aneurism?
Why is breathing so heavy? And squishing?
Then wet plough.
That\'s what homemade porn sounds like.
Lighting is one of the least appreciated aspects of film production.
If not for lighting, the original, fake breasts that make legal porn so glamorous look like the shabby peaks of Mordor.
But they don\'t, do they?
No, sir. they look cute.
But under your fancy light, they and your ass will look more flat than peeing on a plate and will be destroyed by the crawling black shadows.
3 porn there are editors who may not have many people in film school learning how to clip and master film, and they hope to one day be able to use their talents to run a series of trains in the middle with midgets-
But not everyone can realize their dreams.
But the truth is that they are still working and their work is very important.
Thanks to the editor, you rarely have to stop in porn screaming to watch the game because someone ate chili last night and now it\'s windy.
Thanks to the editors, when the heroine begins to cry, gently cries at first, and then fills with tears of desolation and panic, you are instead seen as a vibrant insert lens.
Thanks to the editors, when the hero suddenly realizes that his parents have never loved him, and his Willie sinks like a family signing up for the future of a subprime mortgage, you will never see it.
When he comes back, you will see that he is full of blows and Viagra and ready to solve the problem of his abandonment in anger.
If you have an edit, you will never see the full 10-
When the camera falls off the stack of books you put, all you shoot is a peek at the side view of the game, not a sexy and seductive sexual intercoursea-
Shhh your furry ass cheeks are beating as they go in and out of the frame.
Someone writes porn, though it may be credible.
They did these things on purpose.
There\'s a guy who wakes up every morning, drinks coffee, sits in front of a computer, digs his brain and comes up with a new way for a pool cleaner named Mandingo, pay off the debt for a woman whose breasts are actually completely spherical.
So, a nature of pornography (more or less)ending.
The tenacious detective made all the suspects very considerate. as a result, they all did it, so they were made very considerate in prison.
Or tiger skin appears to collect his prize, but the woman knows his real name and then shouts \"tiger skin\" and then they hunchback.
Or the Naked Cowboy with his trusted partner Poke-a-hotass. And they hump.
How did your sex video end?
There is only one way to end the sex video, an awkward momentSexual intercourse response.
Just like maybe you will climb down and be cut off!
\"Humans will be funny.
Or you will look at the camera with a smirk and shake it down from a damp height.
At that moment, when you turn off the tape, it negates the entire previous effort, simplifying it as a soulless, empty house, a sexual puppet without emotion, all of this is to capture a faint glimpse of your own humanity on tape. You poor soul.
Also, you have a chance to realize that you were recorded at the family party last Christmas so you can get from the full-
In a few seconds, the ugly hit grandma and lay the egg.
Totally screwed up.
In addition to motivating you to take Herman to the circus, porn has another goal, which is to make big money.
Do you know how much porn makes every year?
This is a jerk, according to my research.
Both literally and figuratively.
So it\'s cheap, efficient and rich when professionals make porn.
You know, all women are sexy, all men are there, and all the scenes don\'t need you to think.
But how do you deal with homemade porn?
Professionals post it to the masses, then hold meetings to get the most horrible people alive to sign, and only the bravest or most reckless will dare to go to the bathroom.
If you have a design to be a porn star, you can sell it to a production company that may give you hundreds of pounds, except for anyone who knows what you are going through the street for the rest of your life, you can know what your O-face looks like.
You can keep it as long as you know they will and hope friends and family will never find it.
There will always be someone.
You can\'t put a mysterious untagged video or disc around you, and don\'t expect someone to come across it by chance, don\'t think \"I bet it\'s homemade porn\" because everyone thinks so.
Your old grandmother, the one who laid eggs at the end of your mennono?
One day she will go through your cabinet and try to dust your s ** t and see the DVD sitting there and she will simply think about it and try to put it on the recorder, don\'t even know what\'s going on, only to know that her shabby stuff is readyto-be-
The shocking DNA insisted on showing her what was on the disc.
You\'re killing your grandmother.